Happy Easter weekend!
Tomorrow we are spending the day as a family (well, minus the time when Shannon is going to work on taxes. I even offered to help, if that gives you any idea of how much I have been missing him lately due to his crazy work schedule!). We're planning on visiting the Tractor Supply store to see the chicks and ducks, and then dying Easter eggs at home. I read a great idea to put the eggs inside of a whisk for easier toddler egg dying. I doubt that Clara will be up form more than two or three eggs, though. Stickers on the eggs might be more fun for her anyway, but we'll see how that goes.
Sunday, we'll have a big Easter dinner at my parents' house and those family members who are in from out-of-town. I am a big believer in having Jello at Easter dinner, so that's part of my contribution to the dinner, in addition to a lemon meringue pie and a salad. Clara has fun running around with all her cousins, but she definitely isn't as accustomed to sharing as those kids from multiple-children families are. Makes for a very sleepy Clara by the end of the day.
I was thinking about God's will as I was washing up the dishes tonight. Specifically, wanting God's will. Praying for God's will. Wanting God's will even if it's not my will. I'm struggling with that a bit. Sometimes it's hard to know what God's will is when we're making decisions, but sometimes when circumstances aren't what we want them to be, it's obvious that these unwanted circumstances ARE God's will. That can be hard to accept, but not impossible.
I really do want a baby. But there is a part of me that doesn't. It's hard to explain, because it's not that I don't want more kids, but that if just one is God's will (which it is at the moment), that would be okay. We are so blessed with our little girl. She is amazing. She is a miracle. Right now, having her is God's will for us, and I am thankful. I think of friends who lost little ones even younger than Clara or who are struggling to have just ONE baby. I feel blessed.
Sorry if this post seems disconnected. I'm trying not to think too hard about what I write or else I won't ever blog .
2 comments:
(((hugs))) Learning God's will really is a big lesson. I've been working on it myself lately. To be willing to do whatever it is that he wants of us...it's NOT easy!! But the peace that follows each day I choose to listen...there's no comparison.
As far as another baby, Clara is young. You're young. You have plenty of time for more...just savor her for now. There's time for more siblings :) I knew that Jasmine needed a sibling, with her temperament, but I panicked at the thought of more for awhile. (and now she's almost 7!!)
Hi Alice! I have 3 and don't know if there will be any more.. and while I'm eternally grateful for the little lives that I've been trusted with I still struggle about the idea of the "pregnant season" being over for me. We had years between ours and every time I encounter the same feelings. In actuality it's the way we're made though.. we as women are built to both welcome motherhood and rejoice in it but at the same time accept the coming and going of the seasons of it.
So I guess what I'm saying is that your post isn't disconnected, nor are your feelings because women are complicated and we have all different stuff going on at all different times.. but it truly is all connected to who God made us to be.
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